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[fflo]

Guardian piece on human nature/'Status Anxiety'

Comments

[eve-l-incarnata.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for posting that!

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Kinda makes me want to read the guy's book.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

My ex is a monkey who rocks back and forth.

In fact, quite possibly ALL my exes are in various ways monkeys rocking back and forth. Some of them are just hostile to others in addition to rocking, whereas others are more indifferent and still others are more just terrified of anyone who comes near them.

Me, I'm not so much a monkey rocking back and forth because I didn't get subjected to "status anxiety" until I was largely grown up. Which is somewhat less impossible to survive, but still really unpleasant.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I mean, lately I've been thinking I'm like a dog, a pack animal who's been cut off from the pack. I guess there IS some of that, too.

Funny how I try to comfort myself with psychological and anthropological justification for my current state.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I, too, am drawn to the rocking monkeys.

And I've been thinking lately---and trying to reassure myself, as I e-mailed a friend this morning---that "it's fortunate to be able still, as an adult and after some livin', to risk my heart and take a chance on having to go through something like this; I need to come up with a short, mantra-chanty type phrase to repeat to myself that tells me to protect that gift, and do everything I can to preserve my ability to keep risking my heart."

Times like these can turn you into a rocking monkey.

[eve-l-incarnata.livejournal.com]

Me too. I should go to the local libary with a ream of requests under my arm.

[eve-l-incarnata.livejournal.com]

I understand. I've been trying to form a network of friends. It's been difficult. Much easier if one walks in lockstep with a particular culture, or subculture. I'm not sure how good of a pack animal I am. I'd liken myself to being a reluctant alpha female. I just want everyone to think for themselves, and come to consensus.

Funny how I try to comfort myself with psychological and anthropological justification for my current state.

I do the same thing, or have in the past.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Eve_l, you make me wish you lived over this way---or I lived up there; I think we might get along rather well.

To some extent I'm sure we're just all pickier about friends as we get older and know what we think/like---or maybe more particularly what we don't like. But it has been pretty disappointing to me to find that even people in marginalized subcultures succumb so easily to group think, wanting to be certain and exclusive and dualistic us/them good/bad.

Reluctant alpha females are the best---not submitting by default, as the proper way to be a woman still seems to be to so many, yet remaining suspicious and respectful of the potential for power over others to be abused.

[eve-l-incarnata.livejournal.com]

It's highly possible we would get along. Don't let me breathe on you though. I'm sick.

But it has been pretty disappointing to me to find that even people in marginalized subcultures succumb so easily to group think, wanting to be certain and exclusive and dualistic us/them good/bad.

Indeed. I might resemble this comment at times, but there has been so little "we" that I can relate to, it rarely happens.

Reluctant alpha females are the best---not submitting by default, as the proper way to be a woman still seems to be to so many, yet remaining suspicious and respectful of the potential for power over others to be abused.

That is so well put.