check it out

[fflo]

Guardian piece on human nature/'Status Anxiety'

Comments

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

My ex is a monkey who rocks back and forth.

In fact, quite possibly ALL my exes are in various ways monkeys rocking back and forth. Some of them are just hostile to others in addition to rocking, whereas others are more indifferent and still others are more just terrified of anyone who comes near them.

Me, I'm not so much a monkey rocking back and forth because I didn't get subjected to "status anxiety" until I was largely grown up. Which is somewhat less impossible to survive, but still really unpleasant.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I, too, am drawn to the rocking monkeys.

And I've been thinking lately---and trying to reassure myself, as I e-mailed a friend this morning---that "it's fortunate to be able still, as an adult and after some livin', to risk my heart and take a chance on having to go through something like this; I need to come up with a short, mantra-chanty type phrase to repeat to myself that tells me to protect that gift, and do everything I can to preserve my ability to keep risking my heart."

Times like these can turn you into a rocking monkey.