Insomnia

Dec. 22nd, 2025 10:11 pm
hunningham: Little girl with stripy tights and stripy skirt. My happy icon (Happy)
[personal profile] hunningham
Last night I slept so badly. Awake and desperate for sleep from 1am until after 4am. I tidied up, and read a book, and did a slow stretching routine, and had some snacks, and stayed off the internet, and petted a cat, and all the slow calming things I do for myself and *did not work*. Bugger.

But this afternoon. Went to bed for a nap after lunch and went down so deep. Slept until four in the afternoon, and wow, so good.

It's a reboot. Turn brain off, wait a bit, turn back on and a lot of the problems just disappear. Anxieties about Christmas, family, money etc stop chewing up all the available CPU and drop out. Very strange to see (& feel) the difference between this morning when I was panicking about lost the letter from the hospital, sausage rolls need cooked, no puff pastry and this afternoon when we found the letter, and honest to god, no one cares about sausage rolls.

And right now happy & cheerful.

Rec-cember Day 19: The Old Guard

Dec. 22nd, 2025 10:21 pm
falena: [The Old Guard] Joe and Nicky sitting close together, gazing at each other (immortal husbands)
[personal profile] falena

The Old Guard is a superhero movie about a bunch of inexplicably immortal mercenearies. >Superheroes are totally not my thing, I watched this movie because it had one of my Italian actor crushes, Luca Marinelli. Then I checked out the fic mostly only because [archiveofourown.org profile] sixthlight was writing in this fandom. See, I'm an extremely loyal reader. If I like an author I will try and read any stories they publish, no matter the fandom. I knew I was going to like whatever [archiveofourown.org profile] sixthlight was going to dish out. I was right. Also, Luca Marinelli played a medieval nobleman from my own hometown!And he was half of a canonical gay couple.

Predictably, my favourite stories are AU of the no-superhero-power kind. They can be read with little to no knowledge of canon and can be enjoyed as the tropetastic romance they are.

marriage of (in)convenience. Modern Royalty AU. In which my hometown is a small principality, Ruritania-style. Lolol. To be fair, Joe did know there were some things Nicky wasn’t quite telling him. But it didn’t matter to him who Nicky’s ancestors had been. What mattered was Nicky, who was kind, and thoughtful, and relentlessly committed to doing the right thing, including his share of the dishes. Really, what else did you need to know that someone was a keeper? I don't know why I have such a soft spot for modern monarchy romance but I just do. I'm very sad I can no longer link to the best of the lot, the X-Men royalty AU by Yahtzee (it's been published as proper romance! I bought it!).

Diplomatic Complications.A classic arranged marriage trope, but Yusuf is the nervous groom who gets shipped off to a strange country.

In The Heat of The Moment. This is history-flavoured fantasy and all names of historical locations should not be taken as referring to the serious historical nations/cities but, uh, places vaguely like them and vaguely located the same in relation to each other but with (checks notes) complete cross-faith acceptance of gay marriage, contact with the New World, and definitely no Crusades. We're all here for the arranged marriage romcom and that's just how it has to be. I also have, quite evidently, a thing for arranged marriage. :D This awesome story also comes as a podfic, by [archiveofourown.org profile] greedy_dancer.

The Pitt

except for breath, except for everything by [archiveofourown.org profile] sawdustdiamonds Pittsburgh Doctor Sentenced to Five Years in Drug Diversion and Theft Case. At 6:30 PM on a July evening, everyone in the city knew about Dr. Frank Langdon. This a WIP but it's one of the most powerful pieces of fiction I've ever read, It's emotionally devastating, brace yourselves. The best kind of what if/AU, the one which teaches you something about the fuckedupness of our world, in this instance the prison system in the US (the one in my country is equally inhumane).

umadoshi: (Christmas - Yule candles (verhalen))
[personal profile] umadoshi
Blessed Yule and solstice, friends. May this next turn of the year be better to all of us than the one that's just ended.

Impressively and unexpectedly, we didn't lose power on the weekend (so many people did!); not really coincidentally, Bucky remains undecorated. We also haven't put up any lights or the wreath outside (probably just as well, given the winds), and I didn't even think of that until maybe yesterday. Oh, well.

(I no longer have any real hope of finishing a draft of this rewrite before Christmas, since I'm getting such a late start on work today and we have plans for much of Christmas Eve once [personal profile] scruloose's half-day of work ends. It's fine. I've been doing other things. *shrugs*)

A few nights ago I guess I ~slept wrong~, as I woke up Saturday with a very unhappy neck. Yesterday was better, and today is better again, and I'm lucky to not have this kind of thing happen more often (*knocks wood*), but it's so annoying as well as painful. Body, if you're taking damage while sleeping, why don't you move to a better position?! Does the conscious brain need to handle everything around here? (Thankfully no.)

52/298: Noncy

Dec. 22nd, 2025 11:12 am
rejectomorph: (Default)
[personal profile] rejectomorph
The rain has slowed to a sprinkle for now, but more showers are expected this afternoon, and rain is to continue off and on through Friday. In fact the region remains under a flood watch until then. There was actually a flood warning Sunday afternoon and evening, along with a high wind alert, but despite a fairly relentless rain and a few episodes of stormy downpours my apartment stayed dry and we didn't lose power.

The forecast is now saying Sunday and Monday will be mostly sunny, but if they are I'm sure we will suffer shock and perhaps many cases of temporary blindness as the unaccustomed light floods this place that has endured fog or rain for over a month now. I suspect that the population has a record number of cases of Seasonal Affective Disorder. I'm pretty sure I've got one myself. A couple of days of sun probably won't be enough to cure it, and we'll be back to rain after that brief respite, clear into the new year.

There are onerous tasks I need to do later today, and I'm currently indulging myself with an extra donut, as partial compensation. Safeway had a buy-one-get-one sale on my donuts this week, and so I have twice as many as usual. That should help me get through the next few days of grey. I also have Mexican cocoa, and a fresh bottle of brandy to pike it with, so my continued survival might not be entirely tragic, for the nonce.

What the hell is a nonce anyway? It sounds vaguely insulting. Oh, well, I guess it doesn't much matter, not at this late date. Not worth the effort of a Google. I'm just going to enjoy my extra donut and pretend that's all there is to life. Donuts and brandy-spiked cinnamon cocoa. Certainly Paradise enow?
jazzy_dave: (books n tea)
[personal profile] jazzy_dave
Kevin Barry "The Heart In Winter" (Canongate)




Might seem an appropiate book to read this time of the year.

A quick summary of what this novel is about barely touches the surface. It is ostensibly the story of an Irish immigrant to the United States, come by ship to Butte, Montana, in 1891 with thousands of his fellows from a starved-out country. Also like thousands of other Irish, the promised land does not show him much promise. Most scratch out a living in the area copper mines. Recreation consists of binge drinking and fighting. Life is brutish.

Tom Rourke seems to rush headlong into the troubles that await him: poverty, alcohol, drugs, skimpy wages blown on prostitutes, opiates and card games. Often numbed by his favoured substances, he stumbles toward survival by using his skill with a pen to write matchmaking letters for other lonely and desperate men. He has no particular dream in that regard. Until he meets Polly Gillespie, the new mail-order bride of a local mine owner, leagues above him in status and wealth. They know immediately. They rob a boarding house safe and flee to San Francisco on a stolen horse, pursued by three hired hit men to avenge the duped husband.

In its bare outlines, then, this is a familiar story. New land, new life, new love, impediments to happiness, lawlessness, danger, and high stakes everywhere. But this story becomes something different in the hands of Kevin Barry, who is no ordinary writer. His earlier publications have received international acclaim and prestigious writing awards in his native Ireland. He captures the fine details of historical fiction, especially as seen through the eyes of an outsider, but the language here is more poetic than novelistic. There are turns of phrase, images and modes of speech, and humour both subtle and outrageous, so striking that you will want to write them immediately down to savour. Most important, for all its Wild West setting, and its boy-girl romance, this novel bursts through the usual confines of the immigration story and the frontier love story that it might, at first, appear to be. It becomes something of a meditation on the price of love, and the meaning of survival, and the relationship between what is beautiful and what is not.

Book 68 - Milan Kundera "Immortality"

Dec. 22nd, 2025 05:34 pm
jazzy_dave: (books n tea)
[personal profile] jazzy_dave
Milan Kundera "Immortality" (Faber & Faber)




Not as emotionally involving as Unbearable Lightness, I still enjoyed Kundera's musings and his imaginitive approach to storytelling. He juggles a number of separate, related narratives, but the most interesting one involves the poet and philosopher, Goethe. I particularly enjoyed the dialogue between Goethe's ghost and Hemingway's ghost in heaven. Unfortunately, the purely fictional characters didn't grab me in the same way.

Ultimately, the characters and their stories weren't as compelling as the author's thoughts on a wide variety of subjects. While I didn't agree with a lot of the ideas he put forward, I wasn't put off by them, as much as they helped me reexamine my own beliefs. His ideas are very personal and reflect a unique personality. Though some have found him misogynistic, and I can understand why, I don't necessarily buy it (or hope that he's not). The philosophical wanderings were enough to make me enjoy reading it, I just wish the story had left me with more of an emotional impact.

Rec-cember Day 18: Harry Potter

Dec. 22nd, 2025 06:36 pm
falena: mel and langdon from the Pitt, side by side (Langdon/mel)
[personal profile] falena

I don't think I'm going to be able to keep up with this meme, heh. Biting more than I can chew is the story of my life, basically. I'll just make a post whenever I can, my perfectionist tendencies be damned.

With this out of the way, this is surely another fandom that needs no introduction. I also know it's problematic for many thanks to JKR turning out to be a horrible, horrible human being. I totally can understand if you decide to give this a pass. I can still enjoy fic about this universe, though. I'm sure that my recs are familiar to anyone reading in this fandom, but they are big favourites for a reason, I guess. As usual, the stories I like the most are those that have little to do with canon, in terms of plot. I prefer fic set after the end of the war, preferably ignoring the blasted epilogue, with all our heroes grown-up (and fucked-up). I also was never into the Marauders, like at all.

To start you off, you could pick any of [archiveofourown.org profile] astolat's HP stories at random and be blown away by her talent. Most are Harry/Draco, but she just posted a Draco/Hermione fic only the other day. My favourite is House Proud, Harry/Draco, 23K, His house liked Draco Malfoy more than him. The snark, the fun, the romance. They slay me. The podfic by [archiveofourown.org profile] Lazulus is sublime.

Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by [archiveofourown.org profile] waspabi. 93 K. AU for the Deathly Hallows, also huge canon divergence, Harry grew up as a muggle and never went to Hogwarts. It's also Harry/Draco eventually but the shipping is not the selling point. 'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work. Luckily for me [archiveofourown.org profile] Lazulus podficced this too. What a masterpiece.

What we Pretend We Can't See by [archiveofourown.org profile] gyzym. 131 K. Draco/Harry Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought. I've only ever consumed this as a podfic, which was made by the amazing [archiveofourown.org profile] FayJay.

I must say back in the day I read a lot of Hermione/Snape, but most of it is no longer accessible or err, a bit crap, when I was able to re-read it with more adult eyes. Still, I wanted to rec at least one story, which is really not quite romance (no HEA) but it has the big plus of having an IC Snape (so a complete dickhead): Chaos is Come Again by Aashby. There's some iffy consent, this was written well before content warnings were a thing. The story can only be downloaded from here, AFAIK. I'm also quoting the summary from that review because I'm lazy: "A decade or more after the defeat of Voldemort, Severus Snape and Hermione Granger work together to stop the Ministry from grossly misusing its power to solve wizarding Britain’s genetic problems. Starts with Marriage Law, and approaches near dystopian levels of corruption." There's a lot of plot in this fic. Lots of politics. Some spying/intrigue. Could have benefited from an editor helping the author with the pacing...Still, totally worth reading.

I also enjoyed Harry/Luna quite a lot, but unfortunately my pre-Ao3 bookmarks for the few good stories I'd found are all broken. It's so sad when we lose pieces of fandom history. :(

The Pitt

I don't need to rec [archiveofourown.org profile] avocadomoon to anyone who's into Mel/Frank. There's a reason her stories are the ones with the highest number of hits on the Ao3. My favourite of hers is Confidence Game. 72K. "Everything's fucking falling apart," Abby croaked, her voice thick with snot. "And you're - of course you're like this, you're fucking nice. Oh my God." "I'm not that nice!" Mel said frantically. I stole your husband, she thought. For example. How Mel and Frank could have got together after the end of S1. Meg has written several iterations of this, all wonderful. She gets how messy these two would be, how complicated everything would be...and she makes it work. In this one Abby is an antagonist. And yet so human you can't help sympathising.

sovay: (Lord Peter Wimsey: passion)
[personal profile] sovay
Since the light is officially supposed to have returned in my hemisphere, it is pleasing that my morning has been filled with the quartz-flood of winter sun. I could not get any kind of identifying look at the weird ducks clustered on their mirror-blue thread of the Mystic as I drove past, but I saw black, blue, buff, white, russet, green, and one upturned tail with traffic-cone feet.

On the front of ghost stories for winter, Afterlives: The Year's Best Death Fiction 2024, edited by Sheree Renée Thomas, is now digitally available from Psychopomp. Nephthys of the kite-winged darkness presides over its contents, which include my queer maritime ice-dream "Twice Every Day Returning." It's free to subscribers of The Deadlands and worth a coin or two on the eyes of the rest.

For the solstice itself, I finally managed to write about a short and even seasonal film-object and made latkes with my parents. [personal profile] spatch and I lit the last night's candle for the future. All these last months have been a very rough turn toward winter. I have to believe that I will be able to believe in one.

monday

Dec. 22nd, 2025 12:27 pm
summersgate: (Default)
[personal profile] summersgate
IMG_20251221_160700963_HDR.jpg
I took this last evening while we were walking down back. This is what I was kinda wanting to recreate in the painting I did yesterday. I was dissatisfied with the painting at the time because I failed at showing THIS. Which I think is beautiful in its way. But then I got sidetracked into putting other shapes and things in that weren't there - decorating it up. I feel drawn back and forth between doing something realistic (isn't that the BEST and most skilled painting?) or doing something psychological and weird. I admire people who can paint realistically immensely but the other kind of painting (painting for paint's sake) comes so much easier to me.

IMG_20251222_111646495_HDR.jpg
I was getting started in cleaning for the holiday and I needed to get the puppet off the living room table so I wrapped her up in her blanket and put it/her on my pillow. Rainy came in and was very curious. I watched them for a while and got this picture and then we both left. When I came back the doll was out of her blanket and was moved about a foot away from it on the bed. It had wet marks on it's tummy, from I assume Rainy. If Andy had moved it he would have taken it clear out to the living room to give it to Dave (retriever mentality). I thought Rainy must have gotten over her fear of it after that but when I put it on like a puppet and talked to her with it she was very scared again.

I've been putting off cleaning and readying the house to be at a "holiday level" of clean house so today I must finally get busy.

(no subject)

Dec. 22nd, 2025 09:05 am
bitterlawngnome: (Default)
[personal profile] bitterlawngnome

On a dark BG a single bulb with two flowering stems. Of about ten flowers, four are fully open, and the rest are in late bud or early opening stages. Each flower has three petals and three sepals. Their base colour is light icy green with a central clear midrib, and varying degrees of red wash and veining in each. The one pointing directly down has the least red. The stamens are prominent and pale green. The light is morning window light.
Hippeastrum 'Wild Amazone', amaryllis (N.L. van Geest B.V., 2019)
©Bill Pusztai 2025



A black backdrop, textured. On it a very pale blue-green celadon plate. On that, a pair of the flat type of persimmons, still attached to their twig. They have been on the tree quite late and so are a bit beat up, with cracks, scratches, and spots. There are water droplets on the plate.
Diospyris kaki, persimmon
©Bill Pusztai 2025

I cannot see images hosted on Imgur

Dec. 22nd, 2025 01:28 pm
loganberrybunny: Drawing of my lapine character's face by Eliki (Default)
[personal profile] loganberrybunny
 Public

I'm not sure this is all that well known outside the UK, but the Imgur image host is blocked here. Unless I mess around with VPNs, I cannot see any pictures hosted there. You don't need to change what works for you, of course – just be aware that I won't be able to view or comment on your pics if you use Imgur.

(no subject)

Dec. 22nd, 2025 06:06 am
[syndicated profile] apod_feed

Can you tell that today is a solstice by the tilt of the Earth? Can you tell that today is a solstice by the tilt of the Earth?


temporize

Dec. 22nd, 2025 12:00 am
[syndicated profile] merriamwebster_feed

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for December 22, 2025 is:

temporize • \TEM-puh-ryze\  • verb

To temporize is to avoid making a decision or giving a definite answer in order to have more time.

// Pressured by voters on both sides of the issue, the congressman temporized.

See the entry >

Examples:

"The question is, Did you eat the last piece of pie? And the politician who ate the last piece of pie doesn't want to say yes, because they might get in trouble. Doesn't want to say no, because that's an outright lie. So they waver, they equivocate, they temporize, they put things in context, and they talk like a politician." — David Frum, The Atlantic (The David Frum Show podcast), 21 May 2025

Did you know?

Temporize comes from the Middle French word temporiser, which in turn likely traces back via Medieval Latin temporizāre, "to delay," to the Latin noun tempus, meaning "time." Tempus is also the root of such words as tempo, contemporary, and temporal. If you need to buy some time, you might resort to temporizing, but you probably won't win admiration for doing so, as the word typically carries a negative connotation. For instance, a political leader faced with a difficult issue might temporize by talking vaguely about possible solutions without actually doing anything. The point of such temporizing is to avoid taking definitive—and possibly unpopular—action, in hopes that the problem will somehow go away.



I Forgot Some Things

Dec. 21st, 2025 10:45 pm
fauxklore: (Default)
[personal profile] fauxklore
I left out a couple of people on the non-celebrity death news in my last post. I never met Dovster in person, but I followed his posts on Flyertalk. In particular, he was a good source of news about Israel from an on-the-ground perspective.

I knew Eric Berman from the National Puzzlers’ League (NPL), where his nom was Ember. I particularly associate him with a trivia game called Trash, which focused on pop culture instead of the more highbrow trivia many other people use. (And I must confess that I am generally better at the highbrow stuff.) But he did include enough Broadway-related questions for me to not feel completely useless. And, more to the point, even the things I was clueless about were clever and amusingly presented. One of th email reasons I love the NPL is the level of creativity I see every year at con and his games were a fine example of that.

In other news, I think I have finally figured out what I am doing between two events in early January. I’m also starting to develop plans related to a few of my life list items.

What I didn’t manage to do was write holiday cards and go grocery shopping. I guess I know what I'm doing tomorrow.

the oven saga

Dec. 21st, 2025 07:54 pm
low_delta: (Default)
[personal profile] low_delta
The bake element burned out last Saturday. I ordered the replacement on Sunday, they shipped it Monday and it arrived on Tuesday. It was packaged badly and didn't survive some abuse by FedEx. That evening, I emailed the supplier to get a replacement. The company spent Wednesday and Thursday trying to get my model and serial numbers, while I told them to just ship the same as what I had already ordered. They finally verified the part by Thursday evening, shipped it on Friday, and we received it on Saturday.

I installed it today and the oven does not work. Neither the bake element nor the broiler element come on. I assume that the short that involved a minor explosion of metal caused a certain part of the computer to burn out. I did find a discussion on an appliance repair forum that said one of the wires leading to the bake element remains hot, even when the element is off. So that explains why that happened. And yes, they run 240 volts.

I looked up the controller and a new one costs $200. It would cost double that to get a repair person in, but at least I'd know for sure that it was going to be fixed or not. So we'll make some calls tomorrow. The big problem is that we're hosting Christmas dinner on Thursday, and have a ham to cook.

More Fic in a Box recs

Dec. 21st, 2025 04:59 pm
scintilla10: Xenk wearing high collar and armour (D&D - Xenk in armour)
[personal profile] scintilla10 posting in [community profile] recthething
A few more recs from [community profile] ficinabox, posted over at my journal! (I posted them while the exchange was still anonymous, but creators are now revealed.)

Fandoms include:
Discworld
D&D: Honour Among Thieves
The Mummy
Original Works
Red Sonja
Wonder Woman movies

sunday

Dec. 21st, 2025 06:30 pm
summersgate: (Default)
[personal profile] summersgate
DSC_0480.jpg
Solstice, or Something Wintery.

Jules and I went shopping this morning. The usual: Walmart and then G E. I was up in the middle of the night for a while so I was glad to have a nap in the afternoon. Got up from that and took the dogs for a walk to the creek before it got dark. The snow had a crust on it so Rainy didn't get any ice balls on her legs. She just floated over the surface. Even so, she just didn't seem very happy with the cold so we came home without going to the lake. Painted this dumb little picture and now here I am on LJ/DW.

Edwardian vandalism

Dec. 21st, 2025 09:56 pm
loganberrybunny: Drawing of my lapine character's face by Eliki (Default)
[personal profile] loganberrybunny
Public


324/365: 1908 graffiti, Bewdley Bridge

Yet another grey and damp day to mark the Winter Solstice. I most definitely did not see the sun rise, or indeed see the sun at all! Today's photo is one of the lesser-known pieces of Bewdley's history. In one of the pedestrian tunnels under Bewdley Bridge along the Wribbenhall bank there's this old example of graffiti. You may just be able to make out the initials "T.S." to the left, but in any case the year 1908 is very clear. Cut with a knife, of course, so it would have taken rather longer for this Edwardian vandal than for the modern equivalent tagging with a spray can!
jazzy_dave: (books n tea)
[personal profile] jazzy_dave
Helen Garner "The Children's Bach" (W&N Books)




This slim novel is set in Melbourne, Australia during the early 1980s. The opening chapter presents a longtime married couple, Dexter and Athena, with their two sons, one of whom has a severe neurodevelopmental disorder. Husband and wife are close, and after a tiring day of work and caring for their children, the couple take long walks together after dark. The domesticity of this family begins to unravel with the arrival of external forces. These arise from of a chance meeting with a friend from Dexter’s past, Elizabeth. Unlike the couple, she leads a bohemian lifestyle, and soon she introduces them to a rock musician friend, Philip, and to her much younger sister, Vicki. With these new people now a part of their lives, Dexter and Athena’s relationship undergoes subtle changes, ones that threaten to fracture the foundation of their marriage.

There is no one protagonist featured in the book. Events as they take place are told from a shifting cast of perspectives, primarily those of Dexter, Athena, Elizabeth and Vicki. What makes this novel special is Garner’s precision in capturing the inner thoughts of each one. None are portrayed as good or bad; rather they are shown to be coping with life as best they can. The Children’s Bach is short enough to be read in an evening, but the lovely prose is worth taking more time to savor. First published in Australia in 1984, it has since won a growing audience worldwide. My description of the story’s plot hardly does it justice. Helen Garner is an author worth getting to know, and this novel would be the perfect vehicle with which to do so
jazzy_dave: (books n tea)
[personal profile] jazzy_dave
William Maxwell "So Long, See You Tomorrow" (Vintage Classics)




William Maxwell tells a modest yet devastating story using memory as both his subject and method. His subject is his aging narrator’s revisitation of a childhood memory of a friendship ruptured by the murder of a neighboring farmer by his friend’s father. The narrator’s adult attempt to reconstruct this shocking act of violence forces him to confront his own past and his younger self. Maxwell constructs a plot around these memories that slowly accumulate feelings of unspoken guilt and withheld kindness that persist into adulthood.

Maxwell’s prose is deceptively simple, yet it is emotionally charged. Scenes of rural life in the 20’s Midwest, parental absence, adolescent confusion and even the impact on a farm dog that doubles as a beloved pet are rendered with such gentleness that their sadness arrives quietly, often well after finishing the passages. The novel’s power lies in what it refuses to dramatize, trusting the reader to feel the full measure of loss and regret.

Some may view this simplicity as a shortcoming, wanting more narrative momentum or psychological depth in the characters. Moreover, the novel’s brevity can make others feel its impact as fleeting and underwhelming. Yet, Maxwell deliberately maintains the emotional stew on simmer. In doing so, he has created a quiet, controlled novel that achieves its emotional power not through plot or drama but through reflection, restraint, and the slow accumulation of feeling.

(no subject)

Dec. 21st, 2025 02:02 pm
white_aster: (dog knight)
[personal profile] white_aster
 

The year Trump broke the federal government (Washington Post, gift link)
How DOGE and the White House carried out a once-unthinkable transformation of the nation’s sprawling bureaucracy. 
 

Incredibly wide-ranging and important, showing the human cost of the firing of hundreds of thousands of federal workers and all the federal agency missions undermined and abandoned as a result.

I...could not read all of this.  Teared up, still too soon.  For anyone who doesn't know, I was part of the Reduction in Force earlier this year, terminated from my federal job at a science agency you've definitely heard of.  I lived through this, and I can confirm that this article very much shows the full picture.

I know it's been awhile since the bulk of the Reductions in Force.  Please don't forget us.  The vast majority of fired federal workers were NOT called back.  Many have NOT "moved on".  Many are still struggling and still searching for jobs in a very tight job market,.  For many, their niche federal experience is not so valuable anymore because the federal government still, by and large, is not hiring.  Many are questioning themselves, heartsore and worried as much as every other patriot.

This didn't have to happen.  it's 317 days until midterm elections.  It's 1052 days until the next presidential election.  If you're struggling, I see you, hang in there.  And when it's time, please vote.


Link: Let's support trans children

Dec. 21st, 2025 10:47 am
sonia: Quilted wall-hanging (Default)
[personal profile] sonia
Kids Deserve a New Gender Paradigm by Kai Cheng Thom.
[I]n the trenches of trans health care, there is a growing idea that pushes back against the “one true gender for each individual” framing altogether—one that could allow us to resolve the bitterly divisive culture war over the psychological and medical care of transgender children. What if, instead of viewing gender as a fixed trait, we started to think of it as something that could evolve over the course of a lifetime? Or if detransitioning wasn’t considered a sign of failure and was instead regarded as a natural and healthy part of the gender development process?

Done Since 2025-12-14

Dec. 21st, 2025 06:26 pm
mdlbear: blue fractal bear with text "since 2002" (Default)
[personal profile] mdlbear

Damned if I know how to summarize this week. Mixed?

Embarrassingly, I managed to confuse two deliveries (see Monday) -- I think because they had the same last digit or so in their package numbers -- so I had to delete a couple of annoyed-sounding posts. Hopefully before anyone noticed. The Roamate (combo rollator/powered wheelchair) arrived less than an hour later. Karma, I guess. The device itself seems pretty good, modulo some wierd design decisions, but will take some getting used to before I can write a proper review.

On the other hand, Bronx has been becoming an absolute cuddle-bug. He likes to be picked up and carried, which can be very useful. He doesn't always settle down into my lap after that, but when he does he has a nice rumbly purr. And my medication is still being adjusted; I seem to be getting into somewhat better shape. It's still not great, but I'm not complaining.

On the gripping hand, (covered mobility scooter)Scarlet the Carlet is broken, with a circuit breaker that doesn't want to stay reset. N, G, and j managed to push her home (under a kilometer, and NL is basically flat) -- we'll call for repairs tomorrow sometime.

In the links: MIT physicists peer inside an atom’s nucleus using the fact that Radium monofluoride's electron cloud extends inside the Radium's somewhat pear-shaped nucleus. Wild. Both the technique, and the fact that that compound exists at all. At least it's nowhere near as unstable as FOOF.

The Star Gauge is fascinating. (m sent us a link on the family Discord, but it was to tumblr -- the wikipedia article is less problematic.)

Notes & links, as usual )

loganberrybunny: Just outside Bewdley (Look both ways)
[personal profile] loganberrybunny
Public
The Last House on the Left (1972) film poster
The Last House on the Left (1972)

This is certainly not a film I thought I'd be covering here, but sometimes life comes at you unexpectedly. It's also almost impossible for me to review, even more so than with The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, because of the enormous ethical concerns with its production. As a movie, though, Wes Craven's directing debut (if you don't count all the porn he made under pseudonyms) is extremely uneven, and if it didn't have his name on it I suspect it would be largely forgotten. There are sequences which have genuine power – a sequence after Mari's (Sandra Peabody, credited as Sandra Cassel) torture and rape as she quietly prays, then walks slowly into a lake to await her murder, gives her more dignity than Krug (David Hess) and his gang will ever have in their lives. The hand-held, "found footage" style makes the violence and forced nudity seem unsettlingly real, but it also feels deeply exploitative at times – a reminder that in the early 1970s Craven was not the thoughtful "master of horror" he later became. The intercut scenes involving the comic cops are utterly bizarre, and the "revenge" part that spans the last half hour is a bit of a mess. Despite those flashes of real power, this really is not a great film in its own right. No rating (see below) 

Even more so than with Texas Chain Sawthis review is for the film as a film, because ethically it is a disaster. Not in terms of what's on-screen, which is largely not extreme by today's standards. But the production of Last House was appallingly unkind to one of its stars, Sandra Peabody. Craven himself acknowledged that she was deeply frightened while acting some of the more violent and explicit scenes, and that he stood back and let it play out. Worse, if David Hess and Marc Sheffler (who played Junior) are to be believed – though with the former that's questionable – they both threatened her with serious violence in order to provoke reactions; the fact that neither intended to follow through does not remove the abusiveness. Hess threatened to rape her "if you don't behave yourself" and Sheffler threatened to push her off a cliff to make her look scared enough for an emotionally important scene.

Be aware if you watch this movie that in the case of Mari, a good deal of the fear you see in Peabody's face on screen is genuine, not acted. The rape scene, when by Sheffler's own account she was terrified by Hess's aggressive interpretation of Krug – during three long takes with none of the psychological and emotional safeguards of a modern set – is even harder to watch when you know that. Peabody walked out of a cast and crew screening halfway through, "horrified and upset" at what she saw. Craven's name gives Last House a kind of shield against criticism. It shouldn't, because although he personally did not abuse her, a young actress suffered significantly – and if Hess's words are true, extremely severely – in its production.

I cannot in all conscience give a star rating to a film like that.

Can't I take my own binoculars out?

Dec. 21st, 2025 10:50 am
sovay: (I Claudius)
[personal profile] sovay
The most disturbing part of A View from a Hill (2005) is the beauty of Fulnaker Abbey. From a dry slump of stones in a frost-crunched field, it soars in a flamboyance of turrets and spires, a dust-gilded nave whose frescoes have not glowed in the wan autumn sun, whose biscuit-colored fluting has not been touched since the dissolution of the monasteries. His customarily tight face equally transfigured, Dr. Fanshawe (Mark Letheren) turns in wonder through the rose windows of this archaeological resurrection, a ruin to the naked, post-war eye, through the antique field glasses which first showed him the distant, fogged, impossible prospect of its tower in a chill of hedgerows and mist, medievally alive. In a teleplay of sinister twig-snaps and the carrion-wheel of kites, it's a moment of golden, murmuring awe, centuries blown like dandelion clocks in a numinous blaze. It is a product of black magic only a little more grimily direct than most reconstructions of the past through a lens of bone and it would be far more comforting as a lie.

Visible in appropriate hindsight as the first in the irregular revival of A Ghost Story for Christmas (1971–78), A View from a Hill was adapted for the small screen by Peter Harness and faithfully preserves the antiquarian creep of its source M. R. James while remixing much of the detail around its central conceit, its adjustments of period and tweaks of class taking the story from an eerie sketch of the skull beneath English pastoral skin to an explicit meditation on the double edges of disinterring the past, specifically who decides what the transcendence of time is worth and who foots the bill. It can be mistaken for a purely material question. Aristocratically cash-strapped and as tone-deaf to transcendence as to manners, Squire Richards (Pip Torrens) would be the first to admit he's only called in an old school favor from the Fitzwilliam because his inheritance of antiquities might have something in it to bail out the stately crumbling home. "Never really my thing, standing in a field, grubbing about in the past. One wants to get oneself out there, don't you think? Get a bit of life." Fortunately for that piece of breathtaking tactlessness, Fanshawe came prepared to be condescended to, his archaeological credentials carefully organized to offset his grammar-school accents and implicitly junior standing, packed off to the countryside to investigate a miscellany of Crimean souvenirs and unremarkable Roman ware. He was not braced to discover a double of sorts in the amateur figure of F. D. Baxter (Simon Linnell), the village antiquary still remembered suspiciously for the macabre chime of his death with the obsessions which preceded it. "Fancied himself an archaeologist, like yourself . . . Used to be very bothered with ransacking and rummaging all the history of the place." To be classed with a half-educated watchmaker predictably flicks his defenses, but Fanshawe seems nevertheless to feel some sympathy for this ill-reputed character whose notes led unerringly to worthwhile finds—the kind of professional half-life he might have had to settle for himself, a pre-war stratified generation or two ago. Besides, Baxter was just as transfixed by that mysterious apparition of an abbey, judging from the beautiful, precisely drawn elevation that Fanshawe finds among his papers, complete in every corbel and tracery and dated to 1926 when the squire and the less eccentric evidence of his senses assure him that nothing remains but the cold little scatter of stones that he cycles out to inspect by the rime-glint of afternoon, looking as he paces the dimensions of its absence in his fallow windbreaker and the overcast of his own breath at once tougher and more contemplative, on his own ground for once instead of the back foot of his diligent, tiresome job. His fingers move over a half-buried, moss-crisped stone as if its lost architecture were held like amber within it. Even an inexplicable wave of panic after a puncture at the wooded top of the locally named Gallows Hill can't dim his fascination with the site and the brass-bound binoculars which seem to pierce time to show him more than any survey or excavation or illustration ever could, the past itself, not its denuded, disarticulated remains. Reflections from the Dead: An Archaeological Journey into the Dark Ages, reads the title of the manuscript he brought to edit in his spare time. He looked, too, through the eyes of that curious, earth-browned skull-mask that came, like the binoculars, out of Baxter's collection: "Some of it is pretty bizarre." Of course, there all his troubles began.

James reserves this fact for the punch line of "A View from a Hill" (1925), the ickily logical explanation for the optical disillusion by which placid scenery may become a deep-soaked site of violence. The teleplay drops it square in the middle of its 40 minutes, a night-flashed miniature of folk horror narrated by the aged, watchful manservant Patten (David Burke) with masterful suggestion. "My father served on the inquest. They returned a verdict of unsound mind." Frustrated with the human limits of fieldwork and too much alone with the tools of his trade, Baxter is locally averred to have taught himself as much necromancy as archaeology when he rendered the bones of the dead of Gallows Hill in order to paint the lenses of his field glasses into ghost-sight, an optical coating of the unlaid past. His rain-caped figure sketching on an autumnal hillside would be a study in the picturesque except for the feverish avidity of drawing a dead building from life, the success of his spectral optics which merely conceal the grisliness of their cruder predecessor, the freshly unearthed front of a skull. Harness does not have him cry as in the original story, "Do you want to look through a dead man's eyes?" but visualizes the line until we wonder even whether it accounts for the accuracy of the unexcavated sites left behind in his notes, a sort of ground-penetrating radar of the dead. Or he had a real feel for the tracks of time in the land, for all the good it eventually did him: "What," the squire greets the payoff with meta-modern skepticism, obviously not the target audience for antiquarian ghost stories, "the hanged men came for Baxter because they didn't like their bones being boiled?" Fanshawe for whose benefit this ghoulish moral was actually exhumed doesn't commit himself that far. "It's an interesting story." Relocating it complicates him as a protagonist, but not beyond what either Jamesian canon or extra-diegetic relevance will bear. By the time he brings the binoculars back to the sun-whitened field where the abbey waits under its accretion of centuries, he knows too much to be doing it. Not only has he heard the story of their ill-fated creation, he's seen the drawings that support it, even experienced a dreamlike encounter in the bathroom of all places where the water swirled as cloudily as leached bone and the face flickering like a bad film behind its skull's visor belonged to a pale and crow-picked Baxter. As if their stolen second sight were as much of a beacon as the torch he flashed wildly around in the restless dusk, Patten attributed his terrifying sense of woodland surveillance to his possession of "those glasses." It makes any idea of using them feel intolerably foolhardy of Fanshawe, but more importantly it makes him complicit. Despite its cadaverous viewing conditions, Fulnaker Abbey is not an inherently cursed or haunted space: its eeriness lies in its parallax of time, the reality of its stalls and tapers in the twelfth century as much as its weather-gnawed foundations in the twentieth in one of those simultaneities that so trouble the tranquil illusion of a present. To anyone with a care for the fragility of history, especially a keen and vulnerable medievalist like Fanshawe, its opening into the same three mundane dimensions as a contemporary church is a miracle. For the first time as it assembles itself through the resolving blur of the binoculars, we hear him laugh in unguarded delight. None of its consecrated grandeur is accessible without the desecration of much less sanctified bodies, the poachers and other criminals who fed the vanished gibbet of Gallows Hill and were planted thick around it as the trees that hid their graves over the years until a clever watchmaker decided that their peaceful rest mattered less than the knowledge that could be extracted from their decayed state. It happened to generate a haunting—a pocket timeslip constructed without the consent of the dead who would power it, everyone's just lucky they stayed quiescent until attracted by the use of the device again—but it would not have been less exploitative had Baxter done his grave-robbing and corpse-boiling with supernatural impunity. No matter how gorgeous the temporally split vision from which Fanshawe begins to draft his own interior views, it's a validation of that gruesome disrespect and it's no wonder the dead lose no time doing him the same honors as the man who bound them to enable it.

Directed by Luke Watson for BBC Four, A View from a Hill is inevitably its own artifact of past time. The crucial, permeable landscape—Herefordshire in the original, the BBC could afford the Thames Valley—is capably photographed at a time of year that does most of its own desaturation and DP Chris Goodger takes visible care to work with the uncanniness of absence and daylight, but the prevalence of handheld fast cutting risks the conscious homage of the mood and the digital texture is slicker than 16 mm even without the stuttering crash zoom that ends in a superfluous jump scare; it does better with small reminders of disquiet like a red kite hovering for something to scavenge or the sketch of a burial that looks like a dance macabre. The score by Andy Price and Harry Escott comes out at moments of thinned time and otherwise leaves the soundscape to the cries and rustles of the natural world and the dry hollow of breath that denotes the presence of the dead. Fulnaker Abbey was confected from select views of the neo-Gothic St Michael's in Farnborough and Fanshawe's doctoral thesis sampled ironically from a passage of Philip Rahtz: The gravestones are indeed documents in stone, and we do not need to excavate them, except perhaps to uncover parts of the inscription that have become overgrown or buried . . . As a three-and-a-half-hander, the teleplay shines. Letheren's mix of prickliness and earnestness makes him an effective and unusual anchor for its warning to the heedless; even if that final explosion of wings in the brush is as natural as it sounds, Fanshawe will never again take for granted a truly dead past, nor his own right to pick through it as though it had no say in the matter. Taciturn except when essentially summarizing the original James, Burke avoids infodump through little more than the implication that Patten keeps as much to himself as he relates, while Torrens in tweed plus-fours and a total indifference to intellectual pursuits more than occasionally suggests a sort of rusticated Bertie Wooster, making his odd expression of insight or concern worth taking note of. Linnell as the fatally inventive Baxter is a shadowy cameo with a spectral chaser, but his absorbed, owlish face gives him a weird sympathy, as if it never did occur to him how far out of reason he had reached into history. "Always had some project on the go or something. And pretty much the last job he did was finishing off those glasses you took." It is characteristic of James as an unsettler of landscapes and smart of the teleplay not to tamper with his decision to make the danger of their use entirely homegrown. Who needs the exoticism of a mummy's curse when the hard times of old England are still buried so shallowly?

I seem to have blown the timing by watching this ghost story for the solstice rather than Christmas, but it's readily available including on the Internet Archive and it suited a longest night as well as somewhat unexpectedly my own interests. I might have trimmed a few seconds of its woodland, but not its attention to the unobjectified dead. With all his acknowledged influence from James, I can't believe John Bellairs never inflicted a pair of haunted binoculars on one of his series protagonists—a dead man's likeness transferred through his stolen eyes is close but no necromantic banana. This project brought to you by my last backers at Patreon.
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