888B8B8

[fflo]

I saw that license plate today.  Michigan plate.  That kind of shenanigans would almost surely not be acceptable in Maryland.  It's the wild west up here, automotively.

Was just thinking how I have more postcard images uploaded and ready.  Had a bunch when I stopped posting them.  Just been soured on humanity lately.  Try to come out of it and something happens and I go right back there.  So it doesn't feel like it matches, celebrating postcards, or putting flower magnets on the Jeep.

Today I heard about the young woman on trial for having pressured her sorta-bf to kill himself, which he then did.  I stare at pictures of her.  Like that'll bring comprehension.  Or something deeper, in the realm of understanding.

It was recently suggested that maybe I have a kind of hangover from the marvelous parts of connection, and I was thinking how, if so, I seem just as much to have a hangover from the, what, "trauma"?  That's not quite right.  Some complicated word for a bundle of kinds of pain.

They painted the fire hydrants on my street today.  Bright bright red.  They're pretty red but not a pretty red.

After various household goals in the past few days, all I aim to accomplish tonight is to cut up the cored pineapple hunk in the fridge and to try one of the belts for the vibraphone that came in the mail.  And, y'know, eat something, walk the dog, etc.

First, a brief walkabout at the office (been sitting too long) and a little more work.

Comments

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

I hope you feel better soon!

[spikesgirl58.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm not getting the license plate's meaning. I miss our vanity plate.

Good, I miss the post cards. :D

It makes me wonder about the young man's state of mind that he would be that easily manipulated into such a thing. Guess nothing is impossible anymore.

Red, huh? I think ours are yellow now.

Hope you had a grand night. It sounds like just my kind of night, restful!

[fflo.livejournal.com]

My interpretation of the plate is that it's chosen so's to making it harder to get its number, visually, in a hurry or from a distance, since the squared 8s and the Bs are almost identical.

What was your plate that you miss?

[spikesgirl58.livejournal.com]

Aw, I thought it was something very clever. We had two. TBG had KLBNCAT(Kliban Cat) and I had KRYAKN (Kuryakin for my beloved Illya Kuryakin). That's the one I miss the most.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Re: the trial, some news articles make her sound completely unfeeling, but reading about the guilt and remorse she expressed in the days immediately after his death makes her seem more understandable to me. She clearly had plenty of issues herself, and having a boyfriend who was constantly trying to decide whether to commit suicide or not would stress out anyone. If she'd only had fleeting, momentary thoughts that maybe he'd be better off going through with committing suicide, I don't think that would be the least bit unusual. To actually act on such thoughts and actively encourage him to commit suicide is quite a bit more unusual and horrifying, and it clearly involved quite a bit of selfishness on her part, but within the context that she was extremely young and extremely mentally unhealthy herself, I don't find it incomprehensible. Now, if she hadn't texted friends very shortly afterward and confessed that it was her fault and she'd told him to get back in the truck and she felt bad about it, then I'd find her incomprehensible. But since she did those things - even though she also lied to various other people about various details - I don't think she's particularly incomprehensible; I just think she was a particularly severely fucked-up teenager who was more short-sighted, selfish, and young-and-stupid than is average even for teenagers.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I read her as entirely manipulative and out for attention, at whatever cost. Ultimate responsibility for his suicide is his, of course, and what the laws of Massachusetts have to say about that who knows, but tho I agree that she is (must be) psychologically extremely unhealthy herself, consider that she didn't actually text that remorse-like stuff very shortly afterwards. It was weeks afterwards, once she found out they were searching his phone. In the meantime she'd milked the grieving (pseudo-)gf thing for all it was worth. She even started milking it more than a day before he did it. It was no accident of short-sightedness. It was freakishly long-sighted. If her own psych drugs were involved, again, I dunno. But I don't find it incomprehensible what happened, in the straightforward sense of understanding. I find it impossible to fathom in my soul (in a combo-brain way of thinking and feeling and gut instinctual animal understanding) how she could be so vile. The goading, taunting horror of it. The long con. And the big-eyed innocent bullshit, along with all the other bullshit--- which she got away with a lot of exactly beCAUSE he was dead. It's a sickness that is evil. It's in the realm of the darkest of human ways.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

Hmm, it sounds like you may know more detail about the case than I do. I thought the remorse happened in the first couple of days.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I think anything like remorse was selfish regret that/because she was about to get outed (and possibly further ploys for attention/sympathy). It was definitely tied to her realizing her texts were probably going to be seen. The consequences for her were what mattered to her. Fake empathy only. Missing that part of being a person. Or so it seems to me, given that I too am just reading about it online.