sad. death.

[fflo]

Paula, my coworker, and not yet as much of a friend as I wish I'd made her, died last night. Her husband, gentle John, walked over to tell us the news.

We're all rather in shock.

I am thinking of how much regret I have that I didn't pursue her friendship more. And I'm thinking of what fun she could be, and how smart and savvy and verbal and witty she was. Irreverent, but not unserious. She had a gravitas that made her light and lightening moments seem all the more to be celebrated. It's only in the context of a sense of familiarity with angst that delight rings so deeply, with such profundity. And she did delight in much---it doesn't take having been her best pal to know that.

Goodbye, PAS. You know you've left a big ghost among us.

Comments

[wednes.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I often feel that way when someone dies. I lament on the things I wish I'd done differently, wish I'd been a better friend or grandchild or whatever my relationship was. I suspect that this is because anger is easier to swallow than sadness. I hope you're doing okay; and that everyone is pitching in to help "gentle John" thru this time.