Didn't take much.

[fflo]

Today going to brunch and putting laundry in, with a few other minor operations, has utterly sapped me. Last night was a late night, so there's that, but geez. Can't help but think it'd be less this way if it weren't still cold out. It's still cold out. Where are our anomalously warm one or two here or there?

Have an ensemble rehearsal later. "Mister Sandman." In which the lesbians all wish for a lover with hair like Liberace.

Okay they're not all lesbians.

Really I kinda think we're either beings lesbians or we're not. It's a doing more than a being. It's just that sociologically being wiling to be known to be willing or wanting to be doing lesbian means signing on to be regarded and treated in a set of ways that have an identity sort of element, and there's also how it does say something about someone's personality when she's willing to do lesbianing, tho what it says varies not only with each of us but with our age/era/generation.

I don't really know what I'm saying here however. Typing with one forefinger on the phone in my post-brunch stupor.

Meanwhile the dog really does seem to think we're due for more than a walk around the neighborhood. And it's Sunday, so I oughta get her some runnin' before the workweek is underway again.

Somebody on facebook posted how parents of "neurotypical" kids look at "special needs" kids and think "Wow that must be hard" but they actually have no idea how hard. This post annoyed me. It reminds me of a song in a TV commercial that was apparently from what I can tell quickly with my phone taken from a Tom Paxton song. It went My dog's faster than your dog; my dog's bigger than yours. My dog's better cuz he eats Ken-L Ration. My dog's better than yours.

I mean, what is the purported purpose of this consciousness raising, getting on social marketing to point out to other parents that your lot is worse with your special needs child, who at least I hope isn't reading this shit, but surely picks up on the whole hand-to-forehead biz? In this iteration it's not enough to have it worse, but it must be asserted that the other people, despite what they may think, are ignorant of how very very bad it is. So not only are the special needs parents having it harder tan everyone else, but they're savvier than those others too, who also must benefit from not being burdened with the wisdom of how fortunate they are.

I dunno. Just seems like a lotta crap to me, and more offensive crap than a lot of the other crap. Cuz of how I imagine that attitude might affect those actual kids, who are supposedly being so very cared about. And how it stinks of a sick sort of satisfaction in pathology/-izing.

Plus "neurotypical." Puhleez.

Of course I thought of that post cuz I'm getting ready to pull myself together to get my not-child out to have her not particularly special needs met, and it feels hard. Ha.

Gonna be hard to motivate to stand and cook when we get back, while the laundry dries, before I go out again. Sometimes I envy the dog her frequent and regular naptimes.

Gas station. More trash out. Somethin' else... what was the somethin' else?

Comments

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

"Lesbianing" is a great word.

I hope with you that those kids don't see their parents' public hand-staple-foreheading. Ugh. I could philosophize at length, but really, that's sufficient.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Ugh.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Also: that's a great icon. I'd like to be either party in the picture. Several times a day.

[paperkingdoms]

Also, if people were feeling sorry for those special-needs parents (adjective intentionally vague), you know they'd be getting all up in arms about the wonders and blessings of of having children who are different.

Or maybe those are two different segments of an outwardly similar population.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

No kidding--- that'd totally be how that'd go. Sheesshhhh.

[bigfinedaddy.livejournal.com]

I had a negative reaction to that post, too. I've felt that way about previous posts, as well. One of them featured her proudly recounting how a man had questioned the presence of the service dog, and how she had lambasted him about how some people have DISABILITIES!!! I don't know that child at all. But, still, I have a strong sense (one that is very supported by this latest post you referenced) that the mother is othering/labeling that child to get attention for herself, the mother. And that is so not okay.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

I have that sense too. It's sorta like a philosophical/conversational Münchausen's. I'm special cuz my child is challenged, didja notice?, I'm sooo challenged cuzza how she's sooo challenged and yet we're great because of all that. Our greatness is all wrapped up in that. Mine and hers. Our specialness, the importance of our needs, everything. (Cuz regular needs are chicken feed, I guess.)

As you say, so not okay.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I guess I mean it's a theoretical version of Münchausen's-by-proxy. That proxy part's the important part. Much more than the umlaut part. ;)

[kohkae.livejournal.com]

I'm always a little upset when what is intended as acknowledgement of a difficult situation is reacted to with backlash. I had that happen not to long ago when a veteran said to me "you don't sleep when you are over there". My response was "I can imagine" and I think in retrospect I should have said "I can't imagine". But his response was "No you can't!" and he stormed off. So, no, I haven't been there and I can't imagine, but what I was trying to express was "that sucks! I am sorry that happened to you!" Maybe I should had said nothing but some sort of acknowledgment seemed in order.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

You make me think about how a sort of "macro" (y'know, vs. "micro") take on what's going on in communicative interactions is sometimes part of the picture for people and sometimes not. Like in the case you talk about, the larger concept/context of the interaction was that you were trying to say something to acknowledge what was put out, cuz that's a part of what we all look for in communication, good citizenship of interpersonal/social life. A lot of times people don't seem to take that level into account, particularly when there's pouncing on a specific remark and blowing it up. It's like they're not acknowledging the whole field of what's happening in communication. Subtext. Forest and trees. Like that.