same filmmaker
Jan. 14th, 2008 12:47 amwent back to hear some voiceover again from jenni olson, in that film i was just talking of, cuzza some talking with
shmizla, and took the opportunity to transcribe a bit from her (groovy, also on the DVD) short film blue diary (specifically, the end of it):
Friday night and I'm lonely. In the grand scheme of things, being alone seems slightly preferable to being around people, who make me feel even more self-loathing, insecurity, and dysphoria. I catch a few bars of some Barry Manilow co-dependent love song at the corner store and tap into this well of sadness about not getting what I want from her. That melancholy ache is so familiar, from childhood. Always havin' crushes on girls & not being able to do anything about it.
I used to read Heinrich Böll novels just for the parts where he wrote about clothing and food. A wool sweater. Cutting a sausage with a knife. Drinking coffee with cream. I'm sitting here eating Swiss cheese and strawberries in the dark, and trying to stop thinking about her.
Friday night and I'm lonely. In the grand scheme of things, being alone seems slightly preferable to being around people, who make me feel even more self-loathing, insecurity, and dysphoria. I catch a few bars of some Barry Manilow co-dependent love song at the corner store and tap into this well of sadness about not getting what I want from her. That melancholy ache is so familiar, from childhood. Always havin' crushes on girls & not being able to do anything about it.
I used to read Heinrich Böll novels just for the parts where he wrote about clothing and food. A wool sweater. Cutting a sausage with a knife. Drinking coffee with cream. I'm sitting here eating Swiss cheese and strawberries in the dark, and trying to stop thinking about her.