Maud's mysterious ways

[fflo]

Finally got to the store to stock the kitchen with cookables, after much putting it off. Did a couple of other errands, too, in the early-release time off work this holiday weekend Friday, here at the very end of the year. (Got that mop head, at last, LTM.) Funny thing: seemed everywhere I went, people were smiling at me, nodding, letting me in in traffic with a wave & a grin, speaking a small greeting in situations that rarely include one, offering and accepting eye contact. Etc.

Then there was the one guy who yelled "bitch" at me as I walked to the bank machine at the end. Don't know what that was about. I'd call his drive-by heckle an unfortunate way to end my contact with humans for a while, but it was maybe more unfortunate to have had all those strangers---I'm telling you, it was a dozen, easy---doing that friendly thing. Kinda like bigfinedaddy and I were talking about recently, about versions of alone.

Speaking of BFD, she took me to see Mon Meilleur Ami last night. It features, among other things, extreme clumsiness in interpersonal relations. Oddly topical to me, this week. And, too, as Bruno says in the film, "Everybody's the same as nobody."

More compelling, and emotionally more difficult, is the stint of "House" I'm engaged in. Watched all 5 on the first disc of season 2 the other night. Watched another two episodes last night, late; watched another one just now. Paused for air. It's at a pretty dark spot right now. I don't like lingering here, but it's a truth to be in, not to shirk from.


A smart, funny, somewhat mischievous guy had his last day at MR today. He's leaving us for the dead. I don't know him so well as I'd like to; that's how that goes sometimes. Among things he seems contemplative about is how artifacts of popular culture draw in dorks---a flavor of bright and wounded. Apart from the obvious value of an "in" reference/joke, and the sci fi future kind of philosophizing, there's also just the trying to cobble together a sense of what may be what, here in the world of people. Representations of realities. Ideas. Cogitations upon "What the hell's going on?" Other people's proffered depictions of some version of how it seems to be for them, or for some they know or have known.

That's often what's doing the deed when Maud seems to have put me in front of art, to have put art in front of me.

Nothing makes sense, yet we go on, getting a sense, trying to make sense of it. Or going to get a glass of water and maybe go to bed early.

Comments

[vjsmom.livejournal.com]

But I believe we can be good to each other.

If we don't have that, then what's the point of it all? To me, that's the only point. And I stil naively go thorugh life thinking that I can make some kind of a positive difference in my little corner of the world. I insist on believing that it's possible--I used to have some way of rationalizing my study of history and my desire to teach the same as my way of doing some good. They used to tell us at Wolters Kluwer that "we're helping people" by publishing medical journals. I guess that was true in some respects, but I need it to be more hands-on. I mean, I get more of a feeling that I've done some good when I've sat on the floor of the shoe store and listened to some parent's story of his or her bad day and the hassles of parenthood as I put shoes on their kid and tell him or her that the kid is pretty well-behaved as kids go and that I understand his/her frustration and that I know that what he/she is doing is hard. Said parent usually leaves in a relatively happy place, and I give the kid some stickers, and all is well.

Sorry to digress in your journal. But seriously, we should be good to each other--if for no other reason than that we're all on this crazy journey together.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Sorry to've cut the part you were responding to before I saw you'd commented.

I started to put it back, but I think you quoted the only part that matters.

[vjsmom.livejournal.com]

In the bizarre-o world in which I exist, a response/comment not appearing her appeared in my e-mail--maybe it's a timing thing, I don't know.

In any case, I logged back on to let you know that I certainly am not going to argue with the philosophy expressed in your post. I whole-heartedly agree.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

That was me starting to put it back, then yanking it again.

I take it you're not at Skyline Drive this weekend?

friendly strangers

[scrawlspace.livejournal.com]

I had a similar experience Friday. Had to go to the SOS to get my new plates (on the last day of the month---risking a citation). When I walked in there were about 70 people in line, camped out for the long haul. I wondered if they were all August birthdays like me who forgot to renew until the day before September. It would easily be a two hour wait. I thought I'd stand there at the end of the human snake for several minutes to consider my options, and during that time became aware of a bubbly, convivial atmosphere all around. Almost electrified. Smiles. Humor. No rancor to be seen. It was remarkable.