zipping about on Sunday
Mar. 4th, 2007 03:02 pmPaula memorial dim sum was good. Lively convo.
I feel scattered lately. But not in a bad way. Just having an especially hard time taking care of simple domestic business. When I find myself with a few good waking hours at home, I seem to want to veg, or take in a DVD, as my pace with those Netflix/library offerings has slowed quite a bit.
Speaking of libraries, I'm at Mallett's Creek now. It's quite lively in here. I like it.
Noticed this a.m. that I hadn't changed the calendar I put on the nail in the dining room---hadn't changed it TO February. Pretty bad. I flipped past Feb (it was about sex toys) and got it to March, where I saw a little red mark on March 2.
That mark makes me wonder whether I was menstruating on that particular Friday in 1990, or whatever the original year for the calendar was; the calendar's vintage "Dykes To Watch Out For," found in old junque last year & nearly recycled until I thought to check & found it'd be good for 2007 too. Very little was written on its days then. (I do see, though, that it was in that January I broke a toe dancing to "Love Shack" a little too exuberantly.)
I never was much of one to mark bleeding days on a calendar. Don't have any memory of doing it, in fact, except for during the early fibroid days, when it was still a mystery why I was bleeding so, uh, bloody much. Any of you mark calendars to note bleeding? Do any of you still-fertile females have any jealousy around the following? Lisa: Menstruation-free Since 2001.
Back in 1990, by the way, the drawings of the Dykes we Watch Our For hadn't developed fully into what we know now. It's a little like looking at the early days of "Peanuts" that way.
In other vapid blathering, ---well, maybe this part isn't so vapid... or maybe it's worse. You tell me: I am liking life. And it's been going on for days and days, with few interruptions. It's been going on for weeks, really. Months? Can I say months, plural? Might have to think about that. It's hard to say when it started, when I first noticed it'd been going on for a while. It's kind of wonderfully bizarre to find one has pieced together a consciousness of such good news. It's even a little scary, though, again, not in a bad way.
Perhaps a fine example of evidence that it's true, and life is good: I don't hesitate to say so out of fear of jinxing it. That kind of thinking, while completely familar to me, just looks preposterous to me these days. And it would look sad, but it's hard to be sad about it when I'm not feeling sad.
Okay, I'll settle it--- it was more vapid. But I don't care! Ahhhh, yes.
Hello.
Good, bad, sad, glad... I think in Seuss-sized words these days.
Off for errands and back to the little house & its neglected caretaking. Will I have any interest in the yard this year? I haven't felt it yet. And somehow am not worried about that, either.
If I could bottle this state (these hormones, this attitude, this whatever-it-is), I sure would. And I'd give you some, dear reader, if you weren't making your own right then, through whatever magical properties one does.
I feel scattered lately. But not in a bad way. Just having an especially hard time taking care of simple domestic business. When I find myself with a few good waking hours at home, I seem to want to veg, or take in a DVD, as my pace with those Netflix/library offerings has slowed quite a bit.
Speaking of libraries, I'm at Mallett's Creek now. It's quite lively in here. I like it.
Noticed this a.m. that I hadn't changed the calendar I put on the nail in the dining room---hadn't changed it TO February. Pretty bad. I flipped past Feb (it was about sex toys) and got it to March, where I saw a little red mark on March 2.
That mark makes me wonder whether I was menstruating on that particular Friday in 1990, or whatever the original year for the calendar was; the calendar's vintage "Dykes To Watch Out For," found in old junque last year & nearly recycled until I thought to check & found it'd be good for 2007 too. Very little was written on its days then. (I do see, though, that it was in that January I broke a toe dancing to "Love Shack" a little too exuberantly.)
I never was much of one to mark bleeding days on a calendar. Don't have any memory of doing it, in fact, except for during the early fibroid days, when it was still a mystery why I was bleeding so, uh, bloody much. Any of you mark calendars to note bleeding? Do any of you still-fertile females have any jealousy around the following? Lisa: Menstruation-free Since 2001.
Back in 1990, by the way, the drawings of the Dykes we Watch Our For hadn't developed fully into what we know now. It's a little like looking at the early days of "Peanuts" that way.
In other vapid blathering, ---well, maybe this part isn't so vapid... or maybe it's worse. You tell me: I am liking life. And it's been going on for days and days, with few interruptions. It's been going on for weeks, really. Months? Can I say months, plural? Might have to think about that. It's hard to say when it started, when I first noticed it'd been going on for a while. It's kind of wonderfully bizarre to find one has pieced together a consciousness of such good news. It's even a little scary, though, again, not in a bad way.
Perhaps a fine example of evidence that it's true, and life is good: I don't hesitate to say so out of fear of jinxing it. That kind of thinking, while completely familar to me, just looks preposterous to me these days. And it would look sad, but it's hard to be sad about it when I'm not feeling sad.
Okay, I'll settle it--- it was more vapid. But I don't care! Ahhhh, yes.
Hello.
Good, bad, sad, glad... I think in Seuss-sized words these days.
Off for errands and back to the little house & its neglected caretaking. Will I have any interest in the yard this year? I haven't felt it yet. And somehow am not worried about that, either.
If I could bottle this state (these hormones, this attitude, this whatever-it-is), I sure would. And I'd give you some, dear reader, if you weren't making your own right then, through whatever magical properties one does.
no subject
Date: Mar. 4th, 2007 09:56 pm (UTC)I'm not jealous. Menstruation has never been all that inconvenient for me, so I prefer to continue having the abstract theoretical option of childbearing open (despite the increasingly apparent unlikelihood of such an option ever actually being a real, practical, useable option in my life).
no subject
Date: Mar. 4th, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC)And I do keep track. I didn't, early on, but as I got more and more irregular, I did [the joys of PCOS], and since I started in on having a period again, I do. I don't know how long it will last, but it's in Excel for now.
no subject
Date: Mar. 4th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)Yes!! A resounding yes! I hate bleeding. I hate my horrible PMS, the awful cramps, the blood clots, the whole thing. And I resent having to do it when I know I do onot want any more children. I mean, I've done my bit.
no subject
Date: Mar. 4th, 2007 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Mar. 4th, 2007 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)i'd take a vial of your little medicine.
no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 04:03 am (UTC)it had crossed my mind that my mood might be cyclical hormones (i know i've mentioned how hard it can be to know you are or have been pre-menstrual hormonally when there's no blood red payoff) but it's gone on too long. i did have extra caffeine today, but it ain't just that. i'm sure i'm headed for a fall anyway, but i'm remarkably able to enjoy the view from up here, considering that i know i can't stay here forever.
p.s.
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 04:04 am (UTC):]
no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 04:09 am (UTC)thanks for saying the middle wasn't so vapid
PCOS = pelvic cruddy organ syndrome?
no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)No, I think it's quite cool that you're properly lined up with life at the moment - and that it's been more than a moment.
Pretty much - poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, but you don't actually need cysts to be diagnosed. In my more cynical moments I think it's the umbrella under which they lump all the various ways in which things affected by girl-parts / hormones can misbehave. In more productive moments, I do agree that there are patterns; I just find it frustrating that they don't really seem to have much of anything to *do* about the whole thing aside from putting people on birth control... which is symptom management rather than working on the actual problem[s]. [/rant]
On an entirely different topic - pompom on your hat?
no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 04:28 am (UTC)very exciting to be on the hat list
no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 04:30 am (UTC)Re: p.s.
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 05:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Mar. 5th, 2007 05:12 am (UTC)i'm a bit lost with the day count--can't tell what's too long or not--partly because i don't know whether to count each one since i came over (all of which have felt like i've been walking with a huge rock tied to me), or just the heavier ones among those. who knows.
i still like the ability to keep some perspective: to know when good things have happened. i almost managed to preserve this sunday in a good enough shape, but then had to hear some more about how things aren't that good even when they go perfectly well, exactly in the way their recipient had asked for. i wish i didn't have the sensitivity to it, but as i was saying to homoveg, people mess with my precarious prioritizing efforts.
enjoy the ride and the view from the top.