wedding porn

[fflo]

No, shmizla, I still haven't looked in on that wedding porn:  I've got some alumni magazine wedding porn to share.

I'd almost tossed the latest copy of my little liberal arts college's glossy update (after my usual glance at the news on folks from the mid-'80's), but then I noticed that our old writing guy had done a piece on Ginsberg's visit to the campus, and I set it aside to read.

That piece was okay, but what I really loved was among the displays of baby and wedding pictures. Those displays in my college's publication are ordinarily especially annoying because of what a homogeny of shiny happy "beautiful" well-to-do white people usually appear in them:


(I've blocked their eyes with circles instead of black box-y lines cuz the latter actually made 'em look a bit cool, in a DEVO kinda way.)

So I was paging contemptuously along among pix like that, and then, lo!, I experienced one of those rare cases of love at first sight when my eyes landed on

!
Aren't they marvelous? Those are some wedding people I could totally party with. They look like more fun than just about anybody on the freakin' planet, let alone at my old school. I keep thinking about writing to them through the alumni office to profess my effusive ebullient exuberence of el-oh-vee-ee love. I love every single person in the picture! I swear to Whoever, I do; I do.

There was also this same-sex couple to celebrate seeing in the rag (first time I remember seeing one there):


-- even though one of them's an evil Yankee fan, and thus usually not to be celebrated on any level but the Schadenfreude-ich.

Comments

[homovegetarian.livejournal.com]

back when my siblings and cousins were going through their first round of marriages (early eighties) i was in many a wedding. during this time i learned that dressing the women badly is often intentional on the part of the bride, so that she can look all the better. i actually saw one woman pick a dress, see her maid of honor look hot in it, and choose a new dress, right there, while 6 of us stood around in our underpants, allegedly being fitted for dresses that were now out the door. the final product? peach, plastic dress, with flouncy lace at the collar, and that crisscross in front thing that they did with women's dresses in the 80s, giant shoulder pads, and pink shoes. peach and pink. lace collar. crisscross. mind you, at this point i was 14. with a shaved head. i weighed about 115, and had size D boobs. i looked bad. i am sure that every photo i was in was burned because i have *never seen even one picture of this event and i was in the wedding party. . . it was my brother's wedding. no one has a photo. that's how ugly it was.

[shmizla.livejournal.com]

i've heard about this excellent way to show your friends some real love, but i've never heard it from a credible source before. so i continue to be impressed by the number of ways *decent american women can make you feel really good about friendship. it almost makes me think that i'd rather have serbian women on my case -- at least they can't think of all these ways to make you feel small.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

here's my question: do those serbian women pretend they aren't trying to make you feel small? that two-facédness is the skin-crawliest part, to me.

[shmizla.livejournal.com]

no, they are quite open about it, even though the stupider ones think they are sophisticated and covert. there's a very straightforward list of things, all of them predictable, such as 'and where's your boyfriend?' (baby, husband) or 'your ex has gotten much richer since you broke up' or casual 'folk' comments on good cooking such as, 'you can get married now' (especially when they come from married women, who got married because they didn't know what else to do with themselves). it's obviously very easy to fire right back by saying 'only i don't want to,' but that's also only partly satisfying because they don't believe it (it *can't be true). mind you, these are clearly *not friends* in my case -- just random idiots who happen to know me from my previous life, or not even that much, but feel entitled to whip women around with their 'success.'

[fflo.livejournal.com]

okay---that's pretty skin-crawlily ugly, too. jeez, lou-eeez. i think i get why you're so selective about who you see back home.