Today has utterly gotten away from me.

"Utterly" isn't right there, is't.

I slept in later than I meant to this a.m., having decided to blow off the second day of the conference I'd taken 2 days off work for. Aimed to get some practical stuff done as well as some fun stuff, and did, but none of it at the house or the gym, where my imagined versions of the day's doings were set. I ended up having a fine time, but for the major interruption (and expense) of discovering (the hard way) that I neglected to renew my automobile registration this past birthday*; a last-minute zip to the Sec of State (MI equiv of "DMV" or "MVA") and a long meditative time in line there, realizing how my day was now fleeting, threw off what rhythm I'd hoped to rejoin. But I had good La Shish with the #1 shmizla thereafter, and it WAS a day off, after all: I still have a weekend. 2 more days to structure on my own. Don't know why it bugs me so ---as it threatened to do from midday on--- that none of what I'd pondered while lying in bed this a.m. was coming about.

*They don't send you a notice if you first buy/register the vehicle too close to the reminder-sending time--- plus, according to kindly Sec of State woman, you can't really count on them doing that, as it's officially a courtesy, and technically we're supposed to keep track ourselves. Just FYa'll'sI.

The other (vague but persistent) thing leaping to mind to mention is that I wish life felt like it had meaning. But that's been true for a goodly while now.

I want to feel, you should pardon the capitalist metaphor, invested in things. Or in something. Or in more things, or in some things more. Passion? Not even that, exactly. Moments of delight are delightful while they last, and a bit afterwards, for reminding me I have 'em. And I do. But, typical American, I want MORE.

Or maybe I'm just dehydrated.

(That's supposed to be some silly joke of dismissal, picking that particular other/physiological "cause" cuz I notice I'm thirsty.)

Dang, I just realized some serious errands/tasks I didn't get to this last weekday.

Wonder if Steve & E.J. are going to be coming to see me this season. Oughta call 'em up this weekend & see where we stand. The Eedj implied it, and the Stevo seemed to back it up last we talked.

It's cold, btw. That's new. Yet again I've got to buy gloves. I've lost two pair in this dagnabbedly glove-meriting state. Didn't find any good sale ones at the end of last winter.

ramble ramble ramble

O, connection. O sense of what for, of what makes it not so empty. I call to you, but without the fresh energy for bemoaning the hollow ache that might muster exclamation points.

Today has utterly gotten away from me.

"Utterly" isn't right there, is't.

I slept in later than I meant to this a.m., having decided to blow off the second day of the conference I'd taken 2 days off work for. Aimed to get some practical stuff done as well as some fun stuff, and did, but none of it at the house or the gym, where my imagined versions of the day's doings were set. I ended up having a fine time, but for the major interruption (and expense) of discovering (the hard way) that I neglected to renew my automobile registration this past birthday*; a last-minute zip to the Sec of State (MI equiv of "DMV" or "MVA") and a long meditative time in line there, realizing how my day was now fleeting, threw off what rhythm I'd hoped to rejoin. But I had good La Shish with the #1 shmizla thereafter, and it WAS a day off, after all: I still have a weekend. 2 more days to structure on my own. Don't know why it bugs me so ---as it threatened to do from midday on--- that none of what I'd pondered while lying in bed this a.m. was coming about.

*They don't send you a notice if you first buy/register the vehicle too close to the reminder-sending time--- plus, according to kindly Sec of State woman, you can't really count on them doing that, as it's officially a courtesy, and technically we're supposed to keep track ourselves. Just FYa'll'sI.

The other (vague but persistent) thing leaping to mind to mention is that I wish life felt like it had meaning. But that's been true for a goodly while now.

I want to feel, you should pardon the capitalist metaphor, invested in things. Or in something. Or in more things, or in some things more. Passion? Not even that, exactly. Moments of delight are delightful while they last, and a bit afterwards, for reminding me I have 'em. And I do. But, typical American, I want MORE.

Or maybe I'm just dehydrated.

(That's supposed to be some silly joke of dismissal, picking that particular other/physiological "cause" cuz I notice I'm thirsty.)

Dang, I just realized some serious errands/tasks I didn't get to this last weekday.

Wonder if Steve & E.J. are going to be coming to see me this season. Oughta call 'em up this weekend & see where we stand. The Eedj implied it, and the Stevo seemed to back it up last we talked.

It's cold, btw. That's new. Yet again I've got to buy gloves. I've lost two pair in this dagnabbedly glove-meriting state. Didn't find any good sale ones at the end of last winter.

ramble ramble ramble

O, connection. O sense of what for, of what makes it not so empty. I call to you, but without the fresh energy for bemoaning the hollow ache that might muster exclamation points.