i'm draggin'

[fflo]

and i don't mean that i'm wearing a suit & tie


What's with today, and how horribly slow it is? Could the hollow feeling I have be entirely about being without my fun houseguests, or is there an element of those scratchy ol' heartbroken blues, with the needle stuck in the record and the same refrains repeating, jarringly, so much that it seems the record will never end? (Okay, I'll just answer it: yes, there is. An element. Of that.)


Got a little more freelance work today, at least, so that's good. Have to do it now, though, which is less good.

Comments

[lovelikeyeast.livejournal.com]

Hey, hon. I hear I missed another fabulous summer party.

Here's hoping that today picks up and flies by. xoxo

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Thanks, D. I'm caffeinating like crazy but still totally fuzzy headed and overtired and (yeh) blue, not to mention having great difficulty motivating to work diligently and with sharp focus.

I need to do some basic self-care-taking stuff, and for a few days in a row if possible---in the spirit of Big Fat Love, if you will---like eating regularly and somewhat decently & sleeping & drinking water & I don't know what-all. Seeing a movie is always good. Try to limit self-medicating and metaphorically doping practices as much as possible. See friends. (I'm supposed to get E. tomorrow night; lunch with co-worker friend today.)

I'm not good these days at the transition from shared domesticity (in the form of houseguests or, earlier this year, in the form of staying with friends) back to living alone. It's not the daily, hourly experience of it; I'm actually pretty well adjusted, as you might expect, to managing daily life in practical ways (with a few noticeable areas of weakness). It's the emotional adjustment to being single that rears its head again freshly every time I bid adieu to ongoing domestic familiar company.

[vjsmom.livejournal.com]

Aftere reading your last post and talking to you last night, I am a bit worried that my visit is going to depress you. Maybe not the actual visit (I hope not), but the end of it. I think that you need to try to start planning something else for after I leave so that you have something to look forward to. One of my former therapists gave me that advice a few years ago, and when I remember to do it, it works. Even if it's a trip that's months in the future or an event that you're just thinking about participating in. It's really just doing the same thing as getting through the work day because you're looking forward to the end of it, but on a larger scale.

Not to imply that one should just "get through" life. But there are periods of time when that seems to be the best we can do. Especially for those of us who tend to feel our emotions all the way into the core of our beings.

Talk to you soon. I'm working at the store again tonight, so maybe we can chat after I get home.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, not too long ago I quoted Linus in here, the wise Peanut, who had a page in "Happiness Is . . . " on which he's pictured smiling with a calendar with a date thereupon circled; the message is "Happiness Is . . . having something to look forward to." I suppose it was Chas. S. who said it, not Linus, but whatever: I knew the first time I saw that one, back at age 5 or 6, that it was True True True, and I think of it often in times like these.

But potential let-down after a happy thing is not a downside of a happy thing, you know? Just like it's a little crazy to think, say, that it's good to have a headache cuz then you feel so good later just to feel "normal." I mean, life has its downs, and maybe they can be appreciated for their part in our enjoyment of the ups---and certainly we don't want to curtail the ups because they will be followed by downs. Not unless the swings get too big, right?

Hope the world at the store is good to you tonight. It may not be terribly stimulating, but at least it's the outside world without the husband or the kid, right?