i'll have you know, verily, o-vera: i was named one of the Top Sixth Grade Athletes, thank you very much

of course my foot had fallen asleep as i sat on the gym floor during the awards, not expecting to be so dubbed---so when they called my name and i tried to get up and walk the 10 feet to the podium from the 2nd row where i sat, i took a prat fall tumble, establishing my irony yet again...