I have a blocked salivary gland.

[fflo]

Visited a *very cool* doc this afternoon (mine was booked) and found that out, and was ordered to buy sour candies and suck on them.  It'd be a nice prescription if it didn't smart so much to salivate, which is exactly what the sourness makes happen.  (I couldn't bring myself to finish my lunch today, with this flare-up of the pesky phenomenon.)  But if I don't loosen it up and get it opened up, the side of my head will just keep swelling, and it could get infected.  So I have just eaten my first-ever Lemonhead and my first-ever Sour Patch Kid.  I got some Jolly Ranchers, too, which result in similarly smart-ing salivation, and last a long time.  Oy!  Such a weird problem.

In general I dislike pain inside my head more than I generally dislike other areas for pain.  Maybe I'll head on home and try the hot compress part of the cool doc's suggestion.

The cool doc is a D.O., and she told me about the two broad schools of training and what differentiates them.  Based on the very small sampling, I'm fond of osteopaths.  If she were taking new primary care patients, I'd jump ship to her, tho I'm not displeased with my own.  She did invite me to come back and see her sometime.  :)

Meanwhile I have to do this thing that hurts to make it stop hurting.

I caught up with my trainee, at least.  That feels good.  Mostly lately I haven't been caught up that way.

I know about the blocked salivary gland history of the check-out guy at Walgreen's.  This happened to him once years ago.  He was with his first wife (he's on his second now) and went to kiss her, and suddenly felt weird and moved his tongue up, and (this part's kinda gross so skip to the end of this paragraph if you're squeamish & here are some more characters to let that sink in and give you a chance before the gross part comes alright are you still with me on purpose? cuz here we go) the gland suddenly cleared, and out came the back-up saliva, shooting at her like from a water pistol.  Well he didn't say it that way, but he indicated the trajectory with a gesture.

I feel like I know that guy from somewhere.  His face.  But I don't know where.  Maybe I've just seen him somewhere.  Like he's in a band or something.  I shoulda asked.  I bet squirrelykat knows him.  She might even know if I went to see her and told her which Walgreen's and what he looks like!  She's like Super-Townie.

I also know two of the doc's stories about blocked salivary glands, one including her own superhero-like moment, and one involving her son and her rummaging in the Halloween candy for the right kind of medicine (after researching just enough to make sure this thing really does happen with kids too).

Boy it's sucking how it smarts when I'm sucking cuz that's smart.

Comments

[solteronita.livejournal.com]

The blocked salivary gland sounds really uncomfortable. But I do wish I could be prescribed candy!

Hope the candy plan works! And that you don't shoot anyone in the face with saliva if it does. :)

[fflo.livejournal.com]

:) You read the gross part!

Thanks for the good wishes.

[daphnep.livejournal.com]

LOL re: that imagery.

You really do learn something new every day! Thanks to you, I now know one more way our bodies are freaking weird.

[pane-carasau079.livejournal.com]

Literally thought of this image when you described that poor man kissing his poor wife: http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/36/590x/Sigourney-Weaver-Alien-5-559248.jpg

I hope you feel better... eating sour candy per doctor's order would have made 8 year old me squeal out of happiness!

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

Love the check-out guy story! I can picture it!

[maju01.livejournal.com]

I've never heard of a blocked salivary gland before, but it sounds very unpleasant. Hope the painful treatment works.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It does seem to have opened things up again. The swelling is down, but not gone. However, it no longer hurts to salivate, which is great news.

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

I get those from time to time. The weird thing is that sometimes they pinch a nerve or vessel in my head that makes my blood pressure go up and my head feels like it's going to explode, making the discomfort of the actual blocked salivary duct pale in comparison. I finally remembered to ask my doctor about it, and she suggested the sour candy thing, to make it worse until it gets better.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Sounds dreadful.

It does seem that some drugs I'm on reduce saliva flow. A reason I ought to be extra-careful to stay hydrated, apparently.

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's dreadful when it happens. Oddly, though, when the doc pretty much suggested, aside from the lemon drops, to do what I did naturally, it seems less worrisome, somehow, however. Evermore more to worry about.

OK, that last sentence was just getting carried away with an accidental word game of how many compound words you can put in a row where the adjacent words share words.

[fflo.livejournal.com]

Evermore moreover overwrought wrought iron, Ironsides.

[peteralway.livejournal.com]

Yeah, dat's da ticket!